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I met a guy online recently. We hit it off on day one—actually, hour one. Lol.

We were so different but had so much in common. Everything felt easy, natural, smooth. That first night, we talked on the phone for 5 hours.
It wasn’t butterflies—it was more like, “I feel like I know you.”
​Or like Gotye would say: “Somebody that I used to know.”

A few dates here and there. He cooked for me, I cooked for him.
The connection was effortless...

Until it was time to talk about emotions.
Until a few of our triggers surfaced.

Pause.
​Did that word trigger you?
Did you feel something shift in your body?
If so, just notice it.
Write down what comes up—only if it feels natural.

Back to the story...

As we talked about what we wanted, it became clear—we were on different pages.
We liked each other. We connected deeply.
But we weren’t aligned.

I saw the old story creeping in…
The one where I silence my needs to stay connected to someone who isn’t ready.

So I let it go.

Not because I didn’t want it—because I did.
​But because staying would’ve created chaos in my nervous system.
And I’ve worked too hard to unlearn survival mode.

When I said goodbye, the trauma voices showed up fast:

“Why did you do that? He was a nice guy!”
“Maybe you should’ve given it more time…”
“What if he was the one?”

But then my own voice came in:

“That must have been hard—to say no to what you hoped for and choose YOU instead.”
“I’m proud of you.”

Trauma is trapped energy. Frozen in time.
​Until we give it a new story, it won’t dissolve.

I had to go back to my story.

The one where I learned to accept breadcrumbs…
Because my mother didn’t know how to love me.
Because my father left… so I over-accommodated to make people stay.

But now—I say no.
Even when it’s hard.
Even when it’s uncomfortable.

Because this is how I create new stories.
Stories that feel safe, aligned, and worthy of the love I deserve.

But for me to get to this place of self-awareness, I had to do my own shadow work. It wasn’t easy, and I had many people who helped me along the way—coaches, therapists, healers, the Creator, my spiritual guides… And as I began to see how possible it is to let go, I wanted to help others do the same. As the great Maya Angelou once said, “When you learn, teach.”

Love, Raphaella.

Are you ready to let go of the old stories?

Living authentically means staying true to your values, voice, and inner knowing—even when others don’t understand or agree. This path isn't always easy, but it leads to deep inner peace, freedom, and alignment. If you've ever felt like you're living someone else's version of life, this work is for you.

Connect with me.

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